OK, I stole “yellibacy” from the Parents magazine article that I mentioned the other day. And I don’t really expect that I’ll never yell again – I just want to not yell very much.
And so far, so good! I don’t think I’ve yelled at all in the past three days. Raised my voice sometimes, sure, but not yelled.
Here are some of the things I’ve been doing:
The “if I can’t see you, I can’t hear you” rule seems to have cut down on the general amount of hollering going on. The rule is broken often enough, but still, it usually makes the kids come to me, or resolve the issue without me if they’re too lazy to come to me.
Predict and avoid the situations that are likely to cause conflict. Little Sister always, always gets up after we put her to bed. Always – and one of us usually ends up yelling at some point. And lately, she gets up because she wants to sleep under Book Boy’s bed. (It’s a sort of loft style from IKEA.) So …. really, is there any reason she can’t just sleep there, if BB doesn’t mind? Nope, no reason. So tonight, we just put her right to bed there. (Yes, Tim ended up laying with her for a while, but that’s another issue entirely.)
Ignore the talk that can escalate. When BB or Little Sister talk back (unless it’s a serious infraction), or demands something without asking politely, etc. I simply ignore it until they speak/ask properly. This helps us avoid the back-and-forth that can escalate into a yelling match.
*Disclaimer: Again, I just want to reiterate that I don’t yell all the time. I just want to yell hardly at all. 🙂