Being a parent can be hard. No matter whether you’re a single mom, a working dad with wife who stays home with the kids, or a mom who’s part of a couple who both works, it’s tough.
But there seems to be one special stress that’s reserved just for working moms (whether single, or with a working partner). It’s that momentary panic you feel when you get that call from school or day care, saying that junior is sick and needs to come home. No, not that worry – I really don’t worry too much that my kids are going to get some horrible illness; most of the time they just have a bad cold, a tummy ache, something minor like that.
No, I’m referring to the “Oh crap, what are we going to do with Junior tomorrow?” panic that quickly sets in. Tim and I both work full-time, and while we do have sick time (and understanding bosses), that time is not limitless, nor is our bosses’ patience (presumably). So, we’ve already lost half a day by having to pick the kid up early, and now we have to worry about the next day, too – because all day cares around here have a 24-hour rule that means a child cannot return until they’ve been fever-free for 24 hours. Even if the fever was 99.8, even if the child is clearly just fine. This happened to us with Book Baby last week, and Tim and I each took half of Friday off to care for her.
Today, Tim got the call about Book Girl. Now, she’s clearly under the weather – had a temp, was complaining of a tummy ache, etc. – but I still worry about what’s going to happen tomorrow. I think she may go to work with Tim – the office is attached to the boss’ residence, she can rest on the couch and watch TV, etc. But since I started my new job four weeks ago, I’ve taken 3 half-days off due to sick children, 1 half day off due to a snow day (and no care for the kids), and 1 half day off for a dr. appt. for BB. My employer is very generous with vacation/sick time, and I know that my boss knows that I’m not an unreliable flake, but still – that’s an awful lot for just four weeks! (Possibly more unexpected time than I took in 6 months at my old job, some years.)
Anyone else get that same feeling in the pit of your stomach when you get “the call” from school or day care? Or is there another situation that does it for you? I’d love to hear it.
Book Mama 
Oh, Book Mama, I know just what you mean. It can be so stressful, both at the moment the call comes in, and again when figuring out who is going to stay home. We have been lucky, since my husband is self-employed and can often rearrange his schedule.
But when they are sent home and they aren’t even sick? Ugh! Once my younger son got sent home from school with a headache–because the school nurse remembered that his *uncle* used to get bad ones. This is one of the reasons I changed jobs–where I work now is right next to the elementary school–so when I got the sick kid call, they could walk over. (Of course, now they’re in middle school and 7 miles away. It worked well for 5 years!)
Oh do I know this.
My husband has tons of sick days built up.
But, it is so much easier for me to take off at the last minute. Luckily, we haven’t had too many sick days, but last week, the mr. was home on a monday with Dash and I was home on the very same Friday with Jack Jack. Often, if we have both taken a day off that week, we call in the in-laws, who are more than happy to sit with our sick kids for the day. But, i don’t like to do this because I don’t want them to get sick too, so, it depends on the symptoms of the kid as to whether we do this or not.
Both of our workplaces are really good about people with families being out. But, you just don’t want to abuse it.
Right now, JJ is on day 6 of pnuemonia. Luckily, I am on winter break and his sickness started on a Thursday after school. So, I only missed one day of work. If this had not happened during winter break, we would have been scrambling. on the other hand…who wants to be sick during Christmas break?
Oh my, I could have written this post myself. Sick kids are one of my toughest issues. DD1 had strep this past spring and missed 2 days of school and DH and I each took a day off work to stay with her. DH works in an operating room and I work in a doctor’s office and always have a full day of patients scheduled so it’s stressful to call off. My parents live in another state so they can’t help. I hate feeling pulled between work and my kids. (Obviously, the kids are my priority, but I hate feeling like I’ve left work hanging.)
kater-tot, if memory serves, you’re a Physician Assistant, right? I can’t even imagine how much worse the “sick kid” stress is when you have a patient load and a schedule like that. At least when I have to stay home, there’s nothing terribly urgent that I’ll miss. Maybe I’ll have to reschedule a couple of meetings, or push a deadline back a bit. But nothing major.